Their Truth, My Truth
Being democratic in thought means keeping an open mind, granting the same dignity to others’ ideas as we do to our own.
Family gatherings used to feel like battlegrounds. Someone would say something I disagreed with—about politics, religion, or raising children—and I’d tense up immediately. I couldn’t just let it go; I had to correct them, educate them, and make them see reason. After all, I was right.
What I didn't want to admit was that my need to change their minds had nothing to do with truth and everything to do with control. If I could just get them to agree with me, maybe I'd feel less anxious, less powerless, and less afraid of a world where people I loved believed things I found disturbing.
Being democratic in thought means keeping an open mind, granting the same dignity to others’ ideas as I do to my own. This doesn’t mean pretending to agree. It means recognizing that other people are allowed to have their own opinions—even ones I consider wrong—just as I am. My job isn’t to fix their thinking. Now, when family members share views I find troubling, I practice something radical: I listen without needing to respond. I let them have their thoughts while I keep mine; I can simply let people be who they are.
When I’m tempted to correct someone’s thinking, I can ask: Am I trying to control their mind because I can’t control my own anxiety?
