The Miracle of Letting Go

Yesterday afternoon, I was obsessing about my adult son's choices. He's making decisions I think are mistakes. I have opinions about what he should do instead. I was mentally rehearsing the conversation where I'd convince him to change course. The anxiety was building: the familiar tightness in my chest, the racing thoughts, the need to fix this.

Then I remembered what I'd learned: I let go of my controlling thoughts, and something happened that I can only describe as a miracle. I physically released my shoulders. I took a deep breath. I said out loud, "I can't control this." And something shifted. The anxiety didn't disappear completely, but it lost its grip. The obsessive thoughts slowed. Space opened up where there had been only tension.

The miracle wasn't that my son changed. The miracle was that I changed. In one moment, I went from consumed to calm. From obsessed to open. From controlling to accepting. Not because circumstances shifted, but because I let go of my attempt to control them.

When I catch myself mentally rehearsing a conversation to convince someone to change, I can stop. Release my shoulders. Take a breath. Say out loud: I can't control this. The shift that follows is the miracle.