Being the Message

I've been reflecting on what it means to carry the message. I used to think it was about having the right words, finding the perfect way to explain recovery, making compelling arguments for why someone should try Al-Anon. I studied the literature, practiced my sharing, and rehearsed what I might say to someone who needed help.

But our best message is to be a good example of Al-Anon. Not to talk about the program perfectly, but to live it imperfectly. Not to explain recovery eloquently, but to demonstrate it daily. Not to convince anyone, but simply to be different than I was before.

People don't need my words as much as they need to see that change is possible. When they watch me set a boundary without guilt, or remain calm in chaos, or admit I was wrong, or laugh genuinely after years of misery – that's the message. When they see me choosing differently, responding differently, living differently – that speaks louder than anything I could say.

Being a good example doesn't mean being perfect. It means being honest about the process. Showing up consistently. Practicing what I preach imperfectly. Living visibly differently than I did before Al-Anon found me. The message isn't in my explanation – it's in my example.

How I respond to today's stress or disappointment is the message. Someone is watching—maybe my child, maybe a friend who knows I go to meetings. They don't need my words about the program. They need to see it working in my life.