From Indictment To Invitation

I started writing my Step Eight list and had to stop after three names. My chest felt tight. Each name on the page felt like proof of what I'd always suspected: I'm a terrible person. Look at all the people I've hurt. Look at all the damage I've caused. My sponsor asked, "What if that's shame talking, not truth?" Shame says the list is an indictment—evidence I'm fundamentally defective. But Step Eight isn't asking me to prove I'm bad. It's giving me a map of where I can make things right. Each name isn't a failure; it's a place where my fear or anger or self-centeredness damaged a connection. And if I damaged it, maybe I can repair it. That's what the list is for—not to condemn me but to show me where healing is possible. The shift changes everything. I'm not compiling evidence against myself. I'm identifying opportunities to reclaim my integrity. The list that felt like judgment becomes an invitation: here's where you lost yourself, and here's where you might find your way back.

When shame tells me my amends list proves I'm bad, I can pause and ask: What if this list is showing me where I have the power to heal? I'll look at one name and see it as an opportunity to repair, not evidence against me.