Freedom's Price
As in life, freedom in Al-Anon carries with it responsibility.
Before recovery I thought freedom meant having no rules no expectations no one telling me what to do. I chafed against any constraint. When people suggested I should attend meetings regularly or call my sponsor or work the Steps I resisted. I wanted to do recovery my way on my terms. Wasn't that what freedom meant?
But as in life freedom in Al-Anon carries with it responsibility. Real freedom isn't the absence of responsibility – it's the willingness to accept responsibility. Our groups have freedom because we're responsible for ourselves. I have freedom because I'm willing to be responsible for my own recovery.
This paradox confused me at first. How could responsibility create freedom? But now I see it. When I'm responsible for my own recovery I'm not waiting for someone else to fix me. When I'm responsible for my own boundaries I'm not trapped by others' behavior. When I'm responsible for my own choices I'm not a victim of circumstances.
Tradition Four gives our groups autonomy except where other groups or Al-Anon as a whole are affected. We're free to make our own decisions and we're responsible for those decisions. Freedom and responsibility aren't opposites. They're partners. One doesn't exist without the other.
When I'm tempted to blame others for my situation, I can ask: What's my responsibility here? Taking responsibility isn't the same as taking blame – it's acknowledging my power to choose how I respond. That's where my freedom lives.
