Not Perfect Just Done

Yesterday morning I opened my Step Four notebook for the twentieth time. I stared at the blank pages. I thought about all the ways I could organize this inventory. By resentments? By character defects? By relationships? By timeline? Each approach seemed inadequate. Each felt like it might miss something important. So I closed the notebook and told myself I'd start when I figured out the right method.

My sponsor laughed when I told her this. We don't need to do it perfectly there will be time to do it again. This permission changed everything. I don't need to do it perfectly. This isn't my one chance to get it right. I can do an inventory now with what I understand today and do another one later when I understand more.

The perfectionism was just fear dressed up as diligence. I was waiting for the perfect method because I was afraid of doing it wrong. But there is no perfect Step Four. There's only the honest effort to look at myself today with the tools and understanding I have right now.

So I picked the simplest approach I could find and started writing. It's not perfect. I'll probably do this Step again someday. But done imperfectly is better than perfect plans that never get started.

If perfectionism is keeping me from starting Step Four, I can choose the simplest format I can find and write for just fifteen minutes. It doesn't need to be perfect or complete. I can always do this Step again later with more understanding.