Candles in Darkness

I've been reflecting on my journey through Al-Anon. When I first came I was living in complete darkness. I couldn't see my way forward. I had no understanding of alcoholism as a disease. I blamed myself for everything. I thought if I just tried harder or loved better or managed more carefully everything would be okay.

Each program experience lit a candle in my darkness. This image captures something profound about how recovery works. Not one big light that suddenly illuminates everything. But candles – small lights gradually accumulating. One meeting lights a candle. One conversation with my sponsor lights another. Reading program literature lights another. Working a Step lights another.

And slowly imperceptibly the darkness lifts. I can see a little more clearly. I understand a little more deeply. I have a little more hope. Not because one thing changed everything but because many small experiences accumulated into transformation.

Step Four is another candle. It illuminates parts of myself I couldn't see before. It reveals patterns I'd been blind to. It shows me where I've been stuck and why. Each insight is a small light. Each moment of honesty adds illumination. The darkness doesn't disappear all at once but gradually it becomes less dark.

When recovery feels slow or I'm impatient for transformation, I can acknowledge one candle that's been lit – one small understanding, one moment of clarity, one shift in perspective. The accumulation of small lights gradually dispels the darkness.